I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Look Back.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. Yet, in the midst of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this December.

The Story and That Line

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who goes undercover as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. During the film's runtime, the procedural element functions as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to film humorous scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and informs the former bodybuilder, “It's boys who have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “I appreciate the insight.”

The boy behind the line was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. In addition to this part featured a notable part on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the Olsen twins and the character of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with several projects in development. Furthermore, he engages with fans at the con circuit. Recently recalled his recollections from the production over three decades on.

Memories from the Set

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I can't remember being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would take me to auditions. Often it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, read a small part they wanted and that's all. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was incredibly nice. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess makes sense. It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.

“It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was simply playful and I only wanted to hang out with him when he had time. He was busy, obviously, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was really, really generous. He purchased for each child in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. It was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a real silver whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being enjoyable?

You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the original Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Line

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember anything about it? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word taboo meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I understood it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given an exception in this case because it was comedic.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it originated, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it was more of a collaboration, but they developed it during shooting and, presumably it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Give me a moment, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she believed it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and her instinct was correct.